Instagram reel of note finds a grandmother doting on her young grandchild
in ways the child’s father simply can not believe in contrast to his own experience
growing up with his mom. As the grandmother purchases and lets the grandson do whatever
he wants, the adult son interjects, “I could barely get a hug [growing up.]”
Her reply, “Well barely get da hell out of my face.” After a series of scenarios
play out where the son continues to express disbelief at her “new and improved”
style of parenting, the video ends with the mom telling her son ,”It’s a different
type of vibe over here; you can’t compete where you don’t compare.” Now
although their banter was intended to be humorous and may even be relatable to
many who have marveled at parents' ability to transform into Grandparents 2.0 once the
next generation arrives, there was an undercurrent of hurt in the son’s voice, not
necessarily because of how his grandmother was showing up for his son but in
not acknowledging the ways in which she had not showed up for him.
I’ve also been on the opposite end of this experience, if you will, with an ex-boyfriend-turned-friend who, out of the blue one evening over dinner, suggested we have a baby. Pause for reaction. Exactly. However, me being me, I had to inquire as to what was underneath this unforeseen and, dare I say, audacious request. After some deliberation, he stated because he hadn’t showed up how he should have for his child after his divorce, he wanted a chance to “do it over right.” In other words, instead of acknowledging, apologizing, and then investing in correcting where he fell short in his past, he preferred to leave it all behind and hit the restart button—with me (FYI, it’s important to note I did not accept the offer. Smile).